The old saying, 'I'm a lover not a fighter' tells me two things of the person who said it. First, the man who dares to say such a thing has no idea what love is, you cannot be a lover without being a fighter. Secondly, it says to me that the man cannot be trusted, because he doesn't even have the sand to let someone know that he will protect and sacrifice for the woman who possesses his heart. Men seem to hear a word like love and do one of two things, they either stray away or embrace the incorrect ideology of love. Masculine love is portrayed today by the dimwits that disgrace the big screen. Men so 'in touch with their feminine side' that if another man was to cross the line of respect owed to his love, his first reaction is to blame the woman. Whatever happened to showing your affection to your wife by letting other men know that she is yours and anyone who dares to treat her with disrespect would have to answer to you. A real man knows that he must fight and eventually die (die to self) for the love of his life. Jesus fought and died for His bride, The Church, and has given us men the ultimate example of a lover and a fighter, same man different temperaments.
Men should never be afraid to woo their wives and show them the love and affection that they deserve as the fairer and more beautiful of God's creation. Nor should he be afraid to be called to arms for her honor. Men have two sides of the same coin, depending on the situation will depend on whether he says, "Did my heart love till now? Forswear it, sight! For I ne'er saw true beauty till this night" (Romeo and Juliet) or 'Through the furnace, unshrinking, thy steps to pursue; And shield thee, and save thee, or perish there too' (Thomas Moore, Irish Melodies) A woman wants a man to fight for her, and every man wants a woman to fight for. A committed, long-lasting relationship requires the fighting spirit; selflessness, focus, and keeping the love alive during hard times are difficult endeavors, but attainable with the right frame of mind. True love does not consist in pleasure seeking or that 'feeling' you get in the pit of your stomach, true love is sacrificial and role fulfilling. Jason Evert put it this way in his book 'Pure Manhood'-'If I don't suffer for her sake, she will suffer for mine. If a man says he loves a woman, but has no desire to protect her body or soul, then his "love" is only for pleasure.'
Historically men were expected to show a certain amount of honor to a woman before he could even court her. In the days of knights and chivalry if a man was to commit any dishonorable act towards a woman he was banished from the town. In the days of the duels men used to fight until injury or death for the heart of a woman. In the little towns of Europe up until the 1920's the entire family of the girl would go on the first several dates with the couple. Even up to the 1950's in 'Beaver Clever America' a boy wouldn't dream of approaching a woman before asking her father first. But in our very confused and 'lack of honor' days we have no clue what it means to court a woman or to treat her with respect.The attitude of 'can't we all just get along' has ruined the true fighting spirit of entire generations.Young men grow up as sexual deviants prowling after and misusing the very thing that makes women so wonderfully made. The fighting spirit for a woman's heart has become the fighting spirit for a one night stand. If men desire to fight for honor and a life worth living, they do so by fighting for the love of a woman worth fighting for. The fight I speak of has nothing to do with the material world, although if it does a man must be ready to take a stand, the fight I am speaking of is the fight for self-discipline and virtue.
The bombardment of pornography and contraception has caused men to lose their fighting hearts, these self-effacing evils lead a man to think not with his soul, but with his lower and more animalistic nature. Evils like contraception and abortion are the pinnacle example of cowardice among men. Telling your wife that you love her but not enough to keep her safe from harm or to have children with her should be looked upon as the ultimate dishonor for a man. Men are meant to fight for their wives souls, and to force or coerce them into immorality because of your own selfishness is like letting Satan himself into your home. Our wives give us married men purpose and vision, so I ask you gentlemen, would you fight, would you die for your wife? 'Therefore, put on the armor of God, that you may be able to resist on the evil day and, having done everything, to hold your ground.' Ephesians 6:13