The Revisions of the Mass

As most of you know on the first Sunday of Advent, in November, we in the English speaking world will begin to have a little different Mass experience than what we have lived.  Many of the words spoken over the last forty-something years will change.  They will actually be much closer to the words spoken by those before that time, only in English. 

Robert and I will be presenting some of the new responses expected of the laity to our 10th grade Faith Formation class.  We thought sharing the information with whomever wanted to read it here might be helpful.  The lessons are a blending of information from three different sources: Magnificat Roman Missal Companion, Dr. Edward Sri's CD from Lighthouse Catholic Media entitled "A Walk Through the New Mass Translation" and Jimmy Akin's book Mass Revision; How the Liturgy is Changing and What It Means for You.


Each week we will be covering a little at a time up until just before Advent begins.  The lessons are written for 10th grade students so enjoy the ease of understanding.  We hope this helps you as the reader to be excited about entering into Mass at a deeper level.  That opportunity is exactly what the new translation offers. 

Week 1
Reasons for the Change

1)  Latin is the language of the Church. The new translation is a more accurate translation of the original Latin and therefore brings us closer to the heart of the Church.  It also brings us into a closer unity with Catholics around the world because we will now be speaking and praying what they have been speaking and praying all along. The original English translation after Vatican II aimed at more of a spirit of the Latin rather than a literal translation. This new translation brings us closer to the words originally spoken before Vatican II, only in English.
 

2) The new translation will give us a deeper, richer meaning to the words spoken in the Mass.  In the first English translation we lost some of the adjectives that were written in the Latin for a purpose.  This lends a more heartfelt response when our response is complete.  It turns our family picnic into a heavenly banquet.  (Not to say the Mass was done incorrectly before, only to say now we will experience a deeper, richer flavor.) 

3) The new translation, like the Latin before, refers to Scripture in many ways.  Many of those references had disappeared.  Example:  We currently use the words before leaving our pews to receive the Eucharist, "Lord, I am not worthy to receive You, but only say the word and I shall be healed."  The new response, which is the correct translation of the original Latin, will be, "Lord, I am not worthy that you should enter under my roof, but only say the word and my soul shall be healed."  I won't explain this here because we will dive in deeper on a later date, but in using it as an example of Scripture, we find this in Matthew 8:8 when the Roman Centurion asked Christ to heal his sick servant.  There are other places where our response leads us back to Scripture and we'll see those in the upcoming posts. 

4)  One more reason for change is simply the correction of inaccurate translation altogether, words left out or added that were not in the original Latin.  Example:  In the Nicene Creed we currently say "We believe."  The Latin is credo.  The literal translation of that word is "I believe."  I used this as an example in our class which is about half Hispanic and half Anglo.  I asked some of the Hispanic students how we begin The Creed.  One girl said I only know it in Spanish.  I told her that was fine and asked how it is said.  She told us it begins, "creo", which is the Spanish word for "I believe."  I looked at Robert and said, "It was even translated correctly in Spanish."  This is another example of one of the changes we'll be making and we'll discuss it in a later post. 



This is not an exhaustive list of the reasons why our missal is changing, but the more obvious and useful to a class of 10th grade students. 

Please feel free to leave comments or questions.  It would be great to have discussions about this wonderful change in our Mass that will only bring us closer to Christ in the Eucharist and to his flock, the Church.


God's blessings!!

Catholicism and Bodybuilding: Friends or Foes?

"The Church, without any doubt whatever, approves of physical culture, if it be in proper proportion" Pope Pius XII

The current culture of bodybuilding and hyper-fitness is ravaged by narcissism and egos big enough to pay back our nation's debt. Part of the problem of the current culture is that it decided to choose the incorrect ideologies for the sport at its beginnings. Many faith-filled people on the outside looking in would write off the sport entirely, something i can't say that I would fault them for. But the sport and the heart of the lifestyle does have good within it. Many bodybuilders, Mike Mentzer for example, have endeavored to bring philosophy, reason and intelligence into the sport but the mainstream bodybuilding media saw him and most like him as a kook. Bodybuilding in its truest and purest form is about beauty and discipline. Beauty of the body and and discipline of the will. As creatures of God we are meant to realize our full human potential. We have a vast array of talents and abilities that our loving Creator infused into us, reasoning, logic, sympathizing, and (by far the most important) holiness, are all given to us as goals to be achieved in order to become more and more worthy of heaven. Physical fitness and health are also God-given and therefore meant to help us get to heaven.

I think first I need to explain what kind of bodybuilding I am speaking of. The freakish bodybuilders of today do not exhibit the beauty of the body. Grace, athleticism, and proper proportion have all but left the current Mr. Universe competitions or most any other bodybuilding competitions. What was meant to portray the human body at its physical peak has become the slanderous and outrageous need for more size, most of the time at the expense of actual health. While I am not for the displaying of male or female bodies for people to gawk at, reaching your physical pinnacle is a beautiful and wonderful thing. The sport of bodybuilding has taken a very ugly turn to the immodest. When I speak of bodybuilding please do not think that the current ogres of the fitness world define the true heart of the sport, the philosophy behind the mud is golden. The ancient Greeks as well as the great artists like Michelangelo had a much better understanding of the role of human physical beauty and the need to try for the best.
“No citizen has a right to be an amateur in the matter of physical training…what a disgrace it is for a man to grow old without ever seeing the beauty and strength of which his body is capable.” -Socrates

In all things we are meant to strive to be the absolute best we can be. Knowledge of truth, love of God, and love of neighbor are not only supposed to be the desires of our hearts we were made to strive for perfection in all of these divine and beautiful things. And such it is with the body, we are meant to want to be beautiful or handsome. The true philosophy and heart of what bodybuilding is has nothing to do with men in Speedos chock full of injected testosterone and human growth hormone. What real bodybuilding is about is the striving for perfection. Being that we are all made up of a mind, a soul, and a body, and true balance derives from the continual up-reach towards heaven of all three, our bodies must be on that celestial ladder just as much as our minds and souls should be. Servant of God Fulton J. Sheen once said, 'Peace is not a passive, but an active virtue.' Our bodies will never have peace unless we are actively pursuing the peace we crave which will only come about when we have full control of our passions and a healthy and active exercising life can help us achieve that temperance. "For no one hates his own flesh but rather nourishes and cherishes it, even as Christ does the church, because we are members of his body"- Ephesians 5:29

There are numerous stories of young men that were living a life of debauchery and crime and through the lifestyle of bodybuilding were able to get out of the rut that their sins had placed them in. "The Iron is the best antidepressant I have ever found. There is no better way to fight weakness than with strength. Once the mind and body have been awakened to their true potential, it’s impossible to turn back." - Henry Rollins (Former Competitive Bodybuilder) If we as Catholics were able to harness that ability of weight lifting to help young men and women to continually strive for a life of perfection, not only in their bodies, but in their souls and minds, we could have a generation of balanced and value-hearted individuals. We should never idolize physical perfection but, "I think the time is right for a "theology of bodybuilding" as well: for greater appreciation and deeper understanding of the body's capacity for strength, endurance, and robust fitness, to serve as a dynamo of charity toward our neighbor and for the greater glory of God." - Dr. Kevin Vost, Fit for Eternal Life. Blessed Pier Giorgio Frassati's motto, 'Verso l'alto' meaning 'to the top' applied not only to be able to climb mountains but to strive for Christian perfection in all things should be the motto for anyone wanting to try out bodybuilding.

Lover/Fighter: Opposite Ends, Same Man

The old saying, 'I'm a lover not a fighter' tells me two things of the person who said it. First, the man who dares to say such a thing has no idea what love is, you cannot be a lover without being a fighter. Secondly, it says to me that the man cannot be trusted, because he doesn't even have the sand to let someone know that he will protect and sacrifice for the woman who possesses his heart. Men seem to hear a word like love and do one of two things, they either stray away or embrace the incorrect ideology of love. Masculine love is portrayed today by the dimwits that disgrace the big screen. Men so 'in touch with their feminine side' that if another man was to cross the line of respect owed to his love, his first reaction is to blame the woman. Whatever happened to showing your affection to your wife by letting other men know that she is yours and anyone who dares to treat her with disrespect would have to answer to you. A real man knows that he must fight and eventually die (die to self) for the love of his life. Jesus fought and died for His bride, The Church, and has given us men the ultimate example of a lover and a fighter, same man different temperaments.

Men should never be afraid to woo their wives and show them the love and affection that they deserve as the fairer and more beautiful of God's creation. Nor should he be afraid to be called to arms for her honor. Men have two sides of the same coin, depending on the situation will depend on whether he says, "Did my heart love till now? Forswear it, sight! For I ne'er saw true beauty till this night" (Romeo and Juliet) or 'Through the furnace, unshrinking, thy steps to pursue; And shield thee, and save thee, or perish there too' (Thomas Moore, Irish Melodies) A woman wants a man to fight for her, and every man wants a woman to fight for. A committed, long-lasting relationship requires the fighting spirit; selflessness, focus, and keeping the love alive during hard times are difficult endeavors, but attainable with the right frame of mind. True love does not consist in pleasure seeking or that 'feeling' you get in the pit of your stomach, true love is sacrificial and role fulfilling. Jason Evert put it this way in his book 'Pure Manhood'-'If I don't suffer for her sake, she will suffer for mine. If a man says he loves a woman, but has no desire to protect her body or soul, then his "love" is only for pleasure.'

Historically men were expected to show a certain amount of honor to a woman before he could even court her. In the days of knights and chivalry if a man was to commit any dishonorable act towards a woman he was banished from the town. In the days of the duels men used to fight until injury or death for the heart of a woman. In the little towns of Europe up until the 1920's the entire family of the girl would go on the first several dates with the couple. Even up to the 1950's in 'Beaver Clever America' a boy wouldn't dream of approaching a woman before asking her father first. But in our very confused and 'lack of honor' days we have no clue what it means to court a woman or to treat her with respect.The attitude of 'can't we all just get along' has ruined the true fighting spirit of entire generations.Young men grow up as sexual deviants prowling after and misusing the very thing that makes women so wonderfully made. The fighting spirit for a woman's heart has become the fighting spirit for a one night stand. If men desire to fight for honor and a life worth living, they do so by fighting for the love of a woman worth fighting for. The fight I speak of has nothing to do with the material world, although if it does a man must be ready to take a stand, the fight I am speaking of is the fight for self-discipline and virtue.

The bombardment of pornography and contraception has caused men to lose their fighting hearts, these self-effacing evils lead a man to think not with his soul, but with his lower and more animalistic nature. Evils like contraception and abortion are the pinnacle example of cowardice among men. Telling your wife that you love her but not enough to keep her safe from harm or to have children with her should be looked upon as the ultimate dishonor for a man. Men are meant to fight for their wives souls, and to force or coerce them into immorality because of your own selfishness is like letting Satan himself into your home. Our wives give us married men purpose and vision, so I ask you gentlemen, would you fight, would you die for your wife? 'Therefore, put on the armor of God, that you may be able to resist on the evil day and, having done everything, to hold your ground.' Ephesians 6:13

A Movie Review of The Help: A Story of Feminine Genius

A Movie Review of The Help

A Story of Feminine Genius

Only once or twice a year does a movie come out that I get excitedly giddy about because the message it has is so in your face without really being in your face.  The Help, starring Emma Stone, is just such a movie.  It is set in the early 60’s in Jackson, Mississippi, a thriving town of just over 100,000 people where all the “dignified” ladies had “colored” maids, as the movie identifies them. 

This movie is about women finding their true dignity as women.  Skeeter, played by Emma Stone, is the main character.  She has just returned from college with a degree in journalism and wants to be a writer.  She jumps right back into her old group of friends who all have nice homes, husbands and babies and maids to take care of it all so they can volunteer in the Jr. League and look good.  Skeeter, however, sees a story in the lives of the women around her. She wants to reveal the lives of the help from their perspective.  Her research reveals much about the dignity of the women of Jackson.

Aibileen is the most prominent of the maids in the movie.  She has raised many white girls that have become the bosses of the maids.  In the beginning of the movie, Aibileen tells the adorable little girl she is raising, “You is kind, you is smart, you is important.”  She shares with this little girl the message of her “girl genius”, a teaching of Blessed John Paul II.  She never tells her she is beautiful, or lovely, something her mother is embarrassed about because of her pudgy toddler belly. Aibileen recognizes the dignity of all the women around her except her own.  She learns to find strength in her own “feminine genius” and finds the courage to do what she needs to do.

Minny is another wonderful maid who finds her own dignity when her new boss befriends her.  She sees her own strengths and uses them to help her new boss, Aibileen, Skeeter, and eventually her own children and herself. 

Celia, whom Minny works for, is an outsider in Jackson and not well received.  She is ostracized just as the working ladies are, and Minny realizes her pain.  Celia, who is represented as the Marilyn Monroe of her time, pouts when she is rejected by the Jr League ladies.  Minny tells her, “Quit feeling sorry for yourself.  That’s ugly.”  Her message to Celia is that her behavior is beneath her dignity and she needs to stand up and be the woman she was created to be.

The antagonist of the movie is Hilly Holbrook.  She is the leader of the jr. leaguers and rules the roost.  She is seen as a “dignified” lady by society when truthfully she, like all the young women were raised by the help with no interaction, acceptance, and love of their biological mothers. Imagine the pain in the hearts of these young ladies to have never been approved of by their own mothers.  She attempts to rise above the pain in her heart by becoming a haughty, selfish, calloused women; all adverse characteristics of our femininity.    

Skeeter’s mother, Charlotte, is all about getting her daughter married off.  She is strong, fighting cancer while continuing to live a happy life by not giving up on life.  However, she ignores the feelings, relationship and dignity of her own maid at the insistence of another “dignified” lady.  She too returns to  her own dignity after her daughter writes her book about the lives of the maids, divulging stories of great scandal. She tells Skeeter, “Courage sometimes skips a generation.  Thank you for bringing it back to our family.”

Skeeter  is definitely the star of the show, maintaining her feminine dignity throughout the movie. She desires, as all the young ladies in the movie do, to get married and have a family.  But she is in no hurry.  She has just graduated from college, something not common for the young ladies of Jackson in the 60’s, and is ready to begin a career as a journalist.  As she conducts her research her female heart reaches out to those in need of love and acceptance.  She is the woman Blessed John Paul II thanked in his Letter to Women when he wrote, “…I cannot fail to express my admiration for those women of good will who have devoted their lives to defending the dignity of womanhood by fighting for their basic social, economic and political rights, demonstrating courageous initiative at a time when this was considered extremely inappropriate, the sign of a lack of femininity, a manifestation of exhibitionism, and even a sin!”  Her defense was against those women who thought they were the dignified women of Jackson. 

The Help is an invigorating, inspiring, encouraging and enlightening movie of the feminine heart.  The message is that at the foundation of a woman’s heart is love, love that recognizes another human as a person of dignity, not just efficiency and productivity.  The Help reveals our “feminine genius”.

Beauty is in the Eye of The Creator: Part 3

Many marital problems that have occurred through the past come about because couples find out that they have 'nothing in common', no goal that they are striving for together. While the first and foremost goal that they should be striving for is to get their husband or wife to heaven, one of the issues is that they have no hobbies or anything to share. For example, my wife and I have very different interests. While our faith and our children are the most common and best thing that we love and have in common, our physical and mental hobbies differ. She enjoys making rosaries or small crafts of some kind, while I enjoy reading. She loves to bake while I love to grill. She enjoys chick-flicks while I enjoy 'cine'MAN'togrophy'. Many couples struggle to find the similarities between their individual, material interests. One thing that my wife and I have always had in common is our love of exercise. I have noticed alot of benefits a couple can experience that exercise can offer.

First, when both the man and woman exercise they both have something they want to achieve. Whether it be to lose a couple pounds or to gain strength the couple has something that they can help the other complete. Not only is there a common goal but there is someone right next to you cheering you on to be the best that you can be. It also creates a fun pursuit that each of you can challenge the other in. For example, my wife has always been able to run for long distances at a very good pace. I am more of a weightlifter and have never been one to run for miles on end. So, between the two of us we challenge one another to reach out and try the other's interest. Now both my wife and I run and lift weights. We rarely have the opportunity to work out or run together, but the overall goal is to help each other be in the best health possible, and what better way than to grow in health together. We men are meant to 'tend and keep the garden' given to us by God and our wives are meant to help us be the best spiritual and physical heads of our households, aside from a prayerful and sacramental marriage, exercise is one of the best things to help each other reach their God-given roles.

Secondly, our vows require us to look after our spouse's health. "In sickness and in health" was not suggesting that whether you want to be lazy or active or whether you want to eat pork rinds or salads is fine by your spouse. Being a child of God hands on the responsibility of taking care of our own health and when you said 'I do' you promised to keep your spouse in his or her best health as well. There is always a balance to be had when it comes to our diets and our activity levels, within right reason a person can stay in shape and keep their spouse in shape, decently easy. With a little help from the theological virtues you can both grow together in mind, body and soul. Fortitude will help when you want to be lazy. Temperance will help when you want to eat fast food every day. Justice will help a couple give each other the love and respect due to a creature of God. Prudence will help a couple find the right plan to achieve each other's goals.

Third, I don't think any man or woman wants their partner to lose the physical attraction that originally brought them together. Men want their wives to feel safe when they are together and want them to know that no other person could harm her as long as she has her man. "His arms are rods of gold...His legs are pillars of alabaster..." - Song of Songs 5:14-15. Women want to feel attractive, they want their husbands eyes to light up when he sees her and to feel that he can always brag about his beautiful wife. "Oh Noble Daughter, your curving thighs like jewels, the product of skilled hands." - Song of Songs 7:2. The poetry of the Song of Songs is the poetry of the theology of the body, the beauty that we all contain should be something we are proud of and therefore should be kept and cared for as the prize that it is. Physical attraction is part of our human nature, we are called to look beautiful and handsome, but we are not called to put it out on display for all to see. A marriage is meant to allow a man and a woman to give all that they have to each other, especially their bodies, wouldn't you want to look the best for your spouse?

I hate what the world offers as the 'ultimate goal' for a man and woman to achieve. Stick figure women and muscle-bound freaks are shown as what a real man and woman are supposed to look like, but those are not what God originally intended at all. The different sizes and shapes of our bodies were given to us by a loving Creator and therefore should be treated as such. But, a woman should want to look feminine and a man masculine, these are our God-given roles. One of my favorite things to do as a family is to wrestle or play hide-and-go-seek with my sons. My wife and I can spend hours wrestling and play boxing with my boys and this truly brings us closer as a family, not to mention burns a decent amount of calories. There are all sorts of ways to get leaner or gain endurance, whether it be that after dinner walk together (an excellent opportunity to pray a rosary) or keeping each other's cravings under control (my wife and I found it very helpful that if one person has a right-before-bed-snack craving the other will say 'I won't if you won't', funny, but it works!) growing together physically is a great way to grow together spiritually. 'My Lover belongs to me and I to him' - Song of Songs 2:16

Manhood and Barbarism

The recent incidences in London have sparked quite a bit of attention to the teenage angst problem within the United Kingdom. While many people do not know how to explain the happenings others are not surprised and have almost expected these occurrences for years. There is a lesson to be learned within these riots that I think most have overlooked. I believe that it was Fr. Philip Chavez that said, 'if men do not teach their sons how to be constructive they will automatically become destructive'. By our masculine nature we know that we are supposed to make a difference in this world. We instinctively know that we are meant to put our mark on this world before we are called to our heavenly reward or possible damnation. Barbarism and chaos is the ultimate prize when children are taught at a very young age that everything is relative and there is no reason to let that pesky conscience of yours have any say in your actions, he's only Jiminy Cricket after all. Only about 50 years back there was a major rebellion against all things moral because the people began asking 'Why all the morals?' and were not fed the truth, they were fed the lies of the world, but this generation doesn't care and doesn't even want to know the 'Why', they don't even know that they don't know.

Throughout history men have decided to go the route of a barbarian. Genghis Khan, King Xerxes, Billy the Kid, and many of our more recent dictators were all men that decided barbarism is a better route than gentlemanly debate. Many men back in the wild west days of this great nation would terrorize towns and take over farmland just for fun. Many Mafiosos would take advantage of or harm their own people all in the name of power or money. There is no purpose or reason behind the indecent behavior of men. These boys and young men that are terrorizing the streets of London have been given a choice, the same choice that every man is given, we can either decide to live by objective truth and therefore submit to a moral code, or we can deny that truth exists and allow our own skewed emotions or feelings guide our lives. Unfortunately, these young men play the blame game and do not hold themselves responsible for their own decisions, something that is much easier to accomplish than holding your actions to a higher code.

Going back to the stories of the wild west of our great nation there were men who decided that it would be better to join a gang then to work hard and raise a family. (The old saying, 'The more things change, the more things stay the same' is very relevant here.) Typically the decision was based off of what the person was taught by their own fathers. The men that decided to join the gangs were either ignored by or wanted to rebel against their fathers. All boys and men have a need to receive validation from their fathers, if they do not receive it from them they will search elsewhere, and typically that will lead them down a wrong path. While these young men are all a product of their heavily sin-laden society, in the end they are their own men. These boys are the image of the post-Christian society, they are the end result if we do not start reversing the course of our atheistic ideologies forced down our nation's throat by those that want to destroy the good within all of us. If we do not start teaching our boys and young men what it means to be a true, Catholic, man of God, barbarism is their only other choice.

Boys today are told that the video-game villains are the real heroes and that Truth and goodness are nonsense. Movies and stories today are filled with the young men that break the rules in order to achieve anything, rebellion is considered the ultimate good rather than ever listen to authority. The more a secular young man rebels, takes advantage of women, or drinks the more he is cheered on by his so-called friends, and while most men never were given the honor or validation from their fathers, this is the validation they crave and are receiving. Belief that the barbarian lifestyle is more manly than the life of a saint has permeated our young men and has shed darkness over the light of sainthood. But if these young men are shown what true honor, courage, and manliness is the world will see a change that has never been reached. Men are the heads of their families and therefore society as well, and with the men that are coming from the current young generation we might face a society that acts like the post-apocolyptic men in the movie 'Book of Eli'. If we want to see a world where life is sacred and morals are held above all else, we must teach our sons to be constructive.

The Dignity of Cinderella, Snow White & Sleeping Beauty

Twenty years ago my husband and I found ourselves in the office of a marriage counselor. It was our fifth year of marriage. The only reason we were there is because we couldn't afford to sit in a lawyer's office. We look back on that now and call it the grace of God.

This counselor did help save our marriage, but I look back now on some of the ideas of the times and question. One idea in particular regarded fairy tales. Our counselor said fairy tales were an abomination to women. They taught young girls that there was a knight in shining armor out there, a prince charming. He went on to tell me I should forget about all that, it was only in the fairy tales, not going to happen in real life. I needed to take the bull by the horns and make life happen for myself. (Very feminine thing to do, right?) And yet, at the same time he told me if I wanted my husband to be the head of the household, get out of the way and let him. Somewhat of a mixed message, don't you think.

So for about the next ten years we struggled trying to properly discern our roles as husband and wife and live in harmony. It really wasn't until just around five years ago that we found the understanding of just how to do that. It was when we began studying Blessed John Paul II's Theology of the Body. There we learned just how God had created our masculine and feminine hearts and how when we embraced our own design we could live as a complementary couple.

I found in this amazing philosopher's writings that we should believe in fairy tales. There are knights in shining armor and prince charmings out there. They are the men who understand their own masculine hearts. They are the men who understand the teaching in Genesis that they are to "tend and keep" the garden. To tend the garden is to care for it, cultivate and nourish it so that it can bear fruit. The Hebrew translation for "to keep" is shamar. The literal translation for this Hebrew word is "to guard." So Adam was called to care for and guard the garden. Where else is a fertile place that when seeds are planted, it is cared for, nourished and guarded that new life will come forth? The womb of a woman, right? This is man's created design, his masculinity, his living out the knight and prince.

So it turns out that Cinderella, Sleeping Beauty and Snow White actually understood their own feminine hearts and their dignity as women because of those feminine hearts. They waited for the knight and the prince rather than making do with whatever bozo came around, told them they were hot and wanted to disappear into the woods with them. Sure we women are strong, we are called to be. So was Cinderella. Look at the hard labor she did every day. We're planners and organizers so that the tasks of caring for others are completed, much like Snow White with all those little men. And we're beautiful, simply because we are women, made so by God not by anything we have done or will do. Like Sleeping Beauty, we need to recognize our feminine beauty and expect to have that feminine beauty recognized by a knight in shining armor or a prince charming.

You, like me, may have been married for many years and are asking yourself, why didn't I wait for my knight or my prince. My bet is, that you did. He might not realize he is that knight or prince. I once heard a lady say, "If you want to be treated like a queen, you better be treating your husband like a king." This certainly doesn't mean you treat your earthly king as a servant would. You are his wife, not his servant. By your very dignity you have what Blessed John Paul II called your "feminine genius." This is your own personal feminine way of sharing God's love, appreciation, approval and acceptance with the caretaker and guard of your heart. When we remember our number one goal in marriage is to get our spouse to heaven (number two is to be open to all the children God wants to give you), we realize we have to be that "helpmate" for our husbands that Eve was created to be. There is a huge difference in helpmate and nag. As a helpmate we desire what is best for our husbands from our heart. A nag desires our husbands to do what we want him to do when we want him to do it out of our own selfishness. I know, I have been there and done that and got the heartache.

Each of our heroines in these fairy tales understood they had a job to do all the while awaiting, dreaming about, and hoping for that knight in shining armor or prince charming. He came, for each one, he came. Cinderella's prince came and rescued her from a life of utilitarianism by her stepmother. Snow White's prince came and rescued her from all the little men in her life, those who couldn't love her as she deserved to be loved. Sleeping Beauty's prince came and woke her from her lifeless slumber to a life of joy, excitement and love.

Yes, these fairy tales have a story that is somewhat make-believe, but, really? Isn't there some reality in them as well? Is it really an abomination for a woman to believe there is a prince charming that understands his own masculinity and will come to take her away on the white stallion and do his best to "tend and keep the garden"?